I remember when I found out that I had to be back to work 6 weeks after I gave birth, I was so scared, worried 😩 asking my self who is going to take care of my baby while I’m at work.

The only people I trusted with baby N were my husband and my mom, I remember when my mom went back home (Bloemfontein) I went through a mild depression, I was scared. Asked myself what am I going to do without her as she was great help but my husband is amazing, he made me feel like I’m not in this alone. We sat down with my husband and we decided that when I go to set he will work from home and take care of baby N and when I am off he will go to the office till we find someone we can trust to take care of our little one. This was not easy but it worked, I was at ease knowing that my baby is safe with her daddy.

I always ask God for guidance and He always answers my prayers, looking for a nanny is not easy. There are so many things to consider before getting that one person to come stay in your house and look after your baby. I went through agencies, I asked friends but I couldn’t find that person I was looking for 😔. I prayed hard about it, I wanted someone who can love my baby the way I do, someone who will understand my line of work, someone who has same believes as I do and I couldn’t find that person.

3 months later I went to do my hair at my usual salon, venting out my frustrations to my hairdresser. You know hairdressers are sometimes our list ears, but that’s for another topic later. I told her I am looking for a nanny and I can’t find one, and you know God works in mysterious ways, I don’t usually talk about my personal life with her but that day I did and she got me someone. The person that she referred to us is so amazing till today she’s still doing an amazing job.

A relationship between mother and nanny needs to be solid.

Here are few points to help us mothers to have better relationships with our Co mothers:

  1. Let’s not assume because the person you found is a woman, she got kids of her own she should know everything about children. Once you’ve hired her sit her down tell her how you want things to be done in your house, tell her what you expect from her.
  2. Show her how you want things to be done. I showed her how I want my baby to be bathed, I showed her how I want my baby to be fed, when and what to look out for.
  3. Be patient. The will be days were they make mistakes or the are days were you’ll feel like they didn’t do what you wanted them to do, my opinion is if she’s really good with the baby and the baby loves her give her (the nanny) benefit of the doubt .
  4. Work on your relationship. A relationship between nanny and mother is a bit tricky, this is the person who is taking care of your baby when you not home on top of that you are her boss. Sometimes as mothers we worry if we become too nice then the nanny might take advantage of that and not do their job, also if we too strict the nanny might ill treat the baby, have an open relationship.
  5. if it’s not working out it’s ok to part ways, sometimes we do our best to make it work but if she’s not doing a proper job or doing things the way you want them to be done then move on.
  6. This relationship is like any other relationship, communicate and get to know this person who is helping you better. We need each other; no one is doing the other a favour.
  7. Check references by doing this you will get to know what kind of person she is. Above all, trust your instincts.

Mommies let’s work on our relationships with our co mothers, let’s show them how we want to be treated by showing them respect but mommy if it’s not working out Let go!

3 Thoughts to “Finding the perfect Co Mother”

  1. Hi,
    your story gives me that hope and trust in nannies. I am 16 weeks pregnant with my 1st child. scary and exciting at the same time. Baby daddy is a 1st time dad as well but he is more involved on how is the baby growing but I could sense that since it is his first experience, there is some mood of being afraid at the same time. we do not stay together, my mom is far as well. I am Joburg, I work, and now I was already worried on how and who is going to take care of my baby.I thought about day care centres just because I do not have that trust in co mommys. but then day care is not as perfect as you would want your baby to be at, half of each day. after reading your story, It gave me that hope that through prayer, I will find the right co mother. I can manage and things will turn out positive rather than thinking negetive all the time. This situation is very sensitive. Thanks for the light.

    1. HI

      God will give you what you need , pray hard about it . Its never easy to trust a stranger to look after your baby and if you cant find a good nanny its Ok some day cares are really good .

      good luck and GOD BLESS

      PASI

  2. I did not think that looking fora Nanny would be this hard. I have just let go of Nanny number 3 and I’m still looking. Finding a stranger to trust with your baby is really not easy

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